Doctors Without Manners.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have an announcement to make:

KLINIK LING IN TAMAN MEGAH SUCKS. DO NOT GO THERE.

The only reason why I hate getting sick since I started working is because I have to go to panel clinics. Panel clinics suck in general, but Klink Ling is at the top of the suck pile.


I should have known the moment I entered the clinic. It is a fairly large one, with more seats than the average clinic (yes I've been to quite a few in my lifetime) but there was NO ONE there. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Mei you. Tarak.

I got called into the consultation room pretty quick to a DR. LEE SIH SHAN. She is a giant bitch who looked as if she ate the second most giant bitch in the world and realised too late it is expired and pickled.

As I entered I said hello, which was greeted with a blank stare. I took my seat and waited for her to say something, and was taken aback when she stared harder and said, "So?"

So, I described my ailments as her eyes glazed over with utmost interest and she poked about my ears, tongue, etc. and concluded that I have contracted a virus.

"What virus is this?" I asked. She gave me a 'you-stupid-bitch' look and retorted, "There are so many virus in the world, how you expect me to name one?"

Right. I was brave enough for another attempt. "How did I get this virus?"

A more intense, fiery 'you-stupid-stupid-bitch' stare. "From anywhere lah. The air, environment."

Oh, so I've contracted a virus, not just ANY virus, from ANYWHERE.

Gee, it could be a Trojan virus since I'm around laptops a lot.


She proceeded to mumble about the medicine that she was gonna give me, such as a medicine for my headache, a medicine for my sorethroat, and so on. Then she stared at me again.

"That's all?" I asked.

A curt nod.

Oooh if only I didn't need a medical certificate from her I'd have given her a piece of my mind. I have never felt so insulted in my entire life in 2010.

DR. LEE SIH SHAN, just because your vagina hasn't been touched in a long, long time, it doesn't give you the license to act like one. Unless you graduated from the Univaginasity of Giant Lonely Vaginas in Vaginology.

You are a smelly, dusty vagina that even hobos don't want to be associated with.

Go F yourself. Oh wait, you probably already are.

P.S. Found her on Facebook. She has a whopping total of 26 friends. Someone please give her a 'Loveliest Person with the Sweetest Smile' award now!

Raison d'être?

It's been a while since I touched, or even thought about my blog.

Today I watched Julie & Julia. I enjoyed it a lot, and it made me wonder about the possibilities of making something big out of simply writing in a blog.

This is the reason why I kept giving up on my blog. I start one hoping to bring some meaning into it, rather than just random rambles about what I ate today or what 'kawaii' top I bought at a cheap price. But then it eventually becomes a chore, because inspiration comes to me only as the rain comes to the desert.

Anyway. I've always liked writing. I suppose what I want to do now is to find a short-term goal to tie the posts in my blog to. To give me a sense of purpose, that what I write is working towards something meaningful. Otherwise I'd be stuck in a perpetual cycle of re-editing a post at least 10 times (literally) before I can be merely satisfied with it.

I don't want my new projects to be left half-baked like my pathetic Grade 5 piano skills and my one year of learning French.

Ideas anyone?

Or is anybody still reading this blog that hasn't been updated for at least half a year now?

The Cyber Emos.

What is a cyber emo? You heard it here first.

Go to your Facebook home page or scroll down your MSN list. Chances are, you will see personal messages such as "My life is like broken glass", "I hate the smell of rain...it reminds me of how lonely I am", or "I'm like fart - people runaway when I'm around but they can't even see me T.T" or some other bullshit like that. In fact, I bet you all my money that you'll see more than one of these.


These people make me wonder. Are they starving kids in Africa? Are they dying in war? Or were they merely dumped by a lover? Pricked by a wood splinter?

I tend to be skeptical, which is against everything I've learned at university, but I just can't help it. Can you blame me for doubting someone who constantly pines and moans about how unfair life is? Do they even know what is REAL suffering? I don't profess to know it, but I know people who DO know it, and they're not even half as pathetic as cyber emos are.

If you fit into the 'cyber emo' bill, ask yourself these questions - Do you have friends and family around you who show concern whenever you get into one of your emo rants? Are you reading this right now on the Internet, maybe while chatting online? Are you clothed, well-fed, and warm? - and if your answers are yes, then what do you REALLY have to complain about? And if you merely think that being 'broken' or 'damaged' like Edward Cullen (see: Twilight) or whatever is the new 'cool' thing, think twice.

I'm not saying that I have a heart as hard as rock and cold as stone. I too, experience the NORMAL ups and downs of life - being emotional over the littlest things to the more serious matters and going through days thinking of myself as the pitifullest creature on earth. But I turn to the people closest to me to remind myself that I have them, and having to endure 'material sufferings', if you may, is the least of my worries.

As I look out the window and see a man crossing the road with a fleshy right leg and a left metal one, I feel thankful for my hairy, fat ones. =)

The Ultimate Competition.

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Random: I had a really intense dream yesterday about getting at least 10 SACKfuls of those biscuit M&Ms (the ones in blue packets as opposed to yellow or brown ones) and I was desperately loading them into my backpack. Then a pelican flew past me, with a lobster on a leash tied to its leg. I'll show you.

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Have you ever tried to release some of your stress by telling someone how stressed up you are only to have them tell you how much MORE stressed they are?

Example.

You: I'm going nuts! I only had 1 hour of sleep last night and I still have two more assignments to do!!

Annoying person: Don't even start! I had only HALF an hour and I have THREE more essays!

You: *ignore* Ugh I can't take this anymore, it's bad enough that I already have the flu and fever.

Annoying person: I have the flu, fever, AND sorethroat!

You: ...*HADOUKEN!*

I just like the lobster. A lot.

Oh, I didn't realise we were competing. So you win and the fanfare is supposed to be starting anytime now? Great, let me grab some confetti and smash it into your smug face.

I don't give a rat's arse whether it's true or not, I just want to vent MY feelings. YOU is friend, ME is complaining, YOU is shutting up and listening. Since when suffering and stress became so happening?

No animals were harmed during this photoshoot.

Is it because a higher degree of suffering deserves more sympathy and/or attention? Awww poor you, you slept HALF an hour less, have ONE more coursework than I do, and have ONE more illness. Whoopdedoo, get the bloody tissues out, I'm going to have an orgasm.

With the lobster.

And maybe the rat.

Or not.

We'll see.

Bye.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

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This is not a hypocritical post about how much I love and miss the King of Pop.

This is a post about an ordinary human being who happened to live an extraordinary life.

I have never paid much attention to Michael Jackson. Sure, I've seen his amazing moonwalk and crotch-grabbing dance moves and heard some of his songs but admittedly, I never fell in love with him the way the rest of the world did.

So when I received news of his passing, my heart didn't miss a beat. It only struck me as a sad event of a loss of a human life. I wasn't at all surprised when I logged into Facebook to find my entire page filled with updates about him, but I was taken aback with what I discovered when I spontaneously decided to do a little research on this so-called musical icon.

Five first reactions prior to the 'enlightenment':
1. That joke about him being a poor black boy growing up to be a rich white lady.
2. Paedophile.
3. Freaky, bizarre.
4. That image of him dangling his child over a balcony.
5. He likes grabbing his crotch.

Five facts after:
1. As a child he was abused by his father.
2. One family accused him of sexually violating their son - evidence was inconclusive and 30 other questioned children all denied that he was a paedophile.
3. All other allegations were doubtful - his own sister La Toya who later withdrew her accusations, a lady who was later revealed to be a former maid he had fired, etc.
4. A statement he made that woke me up to the fact that no matter how rich, talented, amazing someone is, he/she is still just a human being. This was released after a strip search was performed on him following 'evidence' given by the accusing child regarding the 'physical description of his genitals'. I wasn't aware that penises could look that much different from each other.

"As you may already know, after my tour ended I remained out of the country [US] undergoing treatment for a dependency on pain medication...There have been many disgusting statements made recently concerning allegations of improper conduct on my part. These statements about me are totally false...I will say I am particularly upset by the handling of the mass matter by the incredible, terrible mass media. At every opportunity, the media has dissected and manipulated these allegations to reach their own conclusions. I ask all of you to wait and hear the truth before you label or condemn me. Don't treat me like a criminal, because I am innocent. I have been forced to submit to a dehumanizing and humiliating examination...It was the most humiliating ordeal of my life...But if this is what I have to endure to prove my innocence, my complete innocence, so be it."

5. His life from then on went downhill.

In his life, he was put under a microscope and subject to all sorts of lies and accusations not many could have endured. Upon his death, he is hailed and worshipped as a much-loved legend. This is what society today has become. We build people up to knock them down, and there will be leeches jumping in for a ride along the way for that 15 minutes of fame, extra cash, or both, even till the very end.

Posted by gossip blogger Perez Hilton but later taken down. [click to enlarge]

Lesson of the day: Never jump to conclusions. Often said and often heard but much less often practised. If only I could get a dollar - or better yet, a British pound sterling! - for everytime I looked at someone and somehow come to the conclusion that I just 'know' some things about him/her by 'instinct'.

For example, I know I'm very pretty, but at the same time I'm a really nice person too. =)

Rest in peace Michael Jackson, in death may you finally get the peace that eluded you in life.