Shhh...it.

I was away for a business trip last week. For the three days that I was there, I have three pimples to show for it, and three reasons to explain it.

Stress.

Sleep deprivation.

And constipation (50% of the stress comes from here).

Yes, I am one of those very bad travellers who just cannot 'go' outside of my house. That particular orifice literally closes up shop and goes on an extended vacation.


I'd rather hold it in until I'm literally so full of shit I can't sit up straight.



The moment I landed in LCCT, my bowels started to move. I screamed at my mum over the phone to get here, PRONTO. If I'd screamed any louder I would've made chocolate buttons right there and then.


So today, I want to talk about shit. Heck while we are at it, let's talk about farts too.

Did you know that women shit and fart too?

And they sure don't smell like strawberry cupcakes. I know mine don't.

Hohoho...not after that three-day trip anyways.

I found myself hesitating to explain whenever someone asks me about my pimples (this happens a lot as I hardly have any pimples since I came back from overseas).

Yalor...stress ma...some more not enough sleep...and ummm...

CANNOT PANG SAI WOR!"

You may think that it is gross for a lady to proclaim such a thing, but the fact is, women, for example, ME, do shit and fart. Occasionally at the same time, sometimes with sound effects with varying intensity, depending on food consumption.

But my point is, it seems to be such a taboo for women to discuss their bowel movements. We do eat, and the waste has to be expelled out of somewhere. And when it is, birds do not sing, pink unicorns do not prance about, and there sure as hell won't be any elevator music playing.

Our shit is as smelly as men's, sometimes even smellier. Then birds die, flowers wilt, and dung beetles commit suicide. I've witnessed it with my own eyes.


Sometimes I take a long time, sometimes a quickie, sometimes they're like Hershey's kisses, other times like whole Snicker bars. I don't think they'd taste as nice though.


Anyway, after the three long days, I came home and 'pang' until the 'sai' also screamed for help.

Kthxbye.